Action 10 news! With Denise Kelly and Ted Franklin at the news desk — Kip Kipperson Action 10 sports and Sid Edwards with weather. This is Action 10 news.

Ted — Good Evening, I'm Ted Franklin and here is tonight's latest. An area's summer camp once again is the scene of 14 grisly homicides. Apparently the same camp that a masked killer has died at, come back alive, died at, come back alive, died at, come back alive and has died at has once again come back alive to exact killings for no apparent reason. At the scene is our own Denise Kelly. Denise?

Denise — That's right, Ted. Once again Camp Firelight is the scene of tragedy. Against the advice of anyone with common sense, 15 horny teenagers descended into the woods here to run a camp seemingly for no one. Unfortunately only one survived the savage attacks from the killer that keeps coming alive.

Ted — Denise you say that there WAS a survivor?

Denise — Yes Ted, one survivor. Police believe that she survived because she's a virgin.

Ted — I'm sorry Denise, a virgin?

Denise — That's right Ted, a virgin. It seems like the ones who are never willing to "give it up" to their pressuring boyfriends are the ones who always survive these killings that only seem to happen whenever the teenagers come back to this camp.

Ted — You're raising an interesting point, Denise. Why do these young people continually keep going back to this camp when it's a known fact that this killer comes back from the dead to kill again?

Denise — Good point, Ted. No one really knows why they keep doing it. In all reality, it makes no sense whatsoever. Now Ted, I have the person here with me who last saw these teenagers alive. He's the old guy who owns the creepy gas station down the road the doesn't resemble any gas station that anyone has ever seen before. How are you doing tonight, sir?

Gus — Oh, I'm shaken up, but I've become used to this situation happening every couple of years.

Denise — And you saw these teenagers alive just a couple of days ago?

Gus — Yes, they came into my gas station and were all annoying and stuff. I tried to tell them they were doomed and even gave the virgin girl the creeps when I stared at her for too long, but they still came to this camp anyway.

Denise — And what do you think about the killer? Does it alarm you that he keeps dying and then coming back to life?

Gus — Oh, you know it disturbs me. I mean, there's no scientific explanation why someone would keep coming back to life like that. The fact that the police can't seem to do anything about it and that people still keep coming back and going out into the woods alone and stuff is just completely mind boggling.

Denise — It certainly is, sir. Ted we'll have more on this for the next couple of days because we in the broadcast news business seem to have to come up with a name for situations like these and harp on it for years. Back to you.

Ted — Thanks, Denise. Stay with us because coming up next we'll report on how eating can benefit your day to day life! Surprising results coming up next.

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Happy Halloween, everyone. I'm getting into the Halloween spirit by watching the endless "classic" movies on AMC (they had "Child's Play 2" on last night so I'm really questioning what exactly their idea of a "classic" movie is), I'm buying candy that I like because I know that I'm not going to be passing any out and I even went to a haunted house over this past weekend.

Now I actually used to be really scared of haunted houses when I was a kid. The monsters in all of the movies suddenly became reality and all got together in a big warehouse to scare me. That's a good question-how exactly is a "haunted house" a "haunted house" when it's just a bunch of different areas put into a big warehouse? Wouldn't it be a "haunted a bunch of rooms in a big warehouse" instead of a "haunted house"?

Anyway, I was a little disappointed because I wasn't really scared at all in the haunted warehouse. For some reason monsters don't really do it for me anymore. I think that they should make haunted houses for adults that feature the types of things that scare us now as opposed to what scared us when we were younger.

So, next year I'm making a haunted "this is real life" house. That's right, the people walk into my apartment and I tell them that I don't know if they're going to be able to pay all of their bills on time next month. That's scary. I'm going to tell all the dudes that their wife is going to find out about their porn stash. Scary stuff. I'm going to tell the women that their friends are noticing that they're getting fat and are talking about them behind their back. I'm telling you, people are going to be scared to death at my new attraction.

So yeah, have a good Halloween. Save some candy for me. Save the good stuff too like the Kit Kats because if you only have those peanut butter candies that are wrapped in the orange and black wax paper I'll be pissed. If you're lucky, I'll even tell you the ghost story about how a guy lost his job and wasn't really qualified enough to find another one and how he had to move back in with his parents and work at the local Waffle House. You'll be up all night.

Copyright © 2005 Ray Tice
Please do not remove the copyright from this work.

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